Title: The Hell I Don't
Author: Paula
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: Oblivious Much, Powers That Be, Doyle Cordelia Brigade,
anyone else ask.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters I'm just borrowing them.
Feedback: Please! God Yes!





For a moment Cordelia, Doyle and Angel sat stunned. Their mouths hung

open and their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.

Doyle found his voice first. "YOU'VE *GOT* TO BE KIDDING ME! Joss

couldn't he wouldn't . . ."

"He did." Cordelia patted Doyle's shoulder in comfort.

"He killed me." Doyle slumped back in defeat."

"Joss is on another acid trip." There's no way you could hit me that

hard. No offense, Doyle, but you're not that strong." Angel crossed his

arms quite pissed off.

Doyle glared at Angel. "The hell I couldn't I have to give it to Joss.

That was a nice Swan Dive on your part. A bit off on the landing . . ."

Angel growled and stood up taking a step towards Doyle

Cordelia jumped between them. "Whoa, guys. Calm down. Angel, you're just

mad because you didn't get to be the brave brooding martyr. So just sit

down and shut up."

Angel sat down pouting. Satisfied Cordelia turned to face off with Doyle

who was also on his feet.

"And you, you're so traumatized by *that* *that* mockery that you're not

thinking clearly. Now sit down and I'll get you a drink."

Doyle also sat down and Cordelia went to pour him said drink.

"You know," she continued, "I have my pain too. I mean look, I lost the

guy I was falling for just as we got together. Joss loves to wreak havoc on

my love life. First Kevin, then the whole Xander fiasco and now this." She

handed Doyle the glass of whiskey. "Just consider my pain for a minute."

Doyle rolled his eyes and kissed Cordy affectionately when she sat beside

him.

"I'm sorry, Princess. That was insensitive of us." Doyle kissed her hand

and tried to hide his grin. He failed and received a playful swat on the

arm. "You know, this isn't the first time Joss has done something like this."

Angel said counting the other acid trips Joss had been on.

"Let's see. There was 'Innocence', 'Passion', and let's not forget

'Becoming'." Angel counted them on his fingers.

"You're not his first victim." Cordy informed Doyle as he got up for

another drink.

Instead of pouring another glass he simply picked up the whole bottle of

Jack Daniel and took too a good long swig.

"At least I died a hero. But it was only the ninth episode!" Doyle stuck

his lip out in a pout. He took another drink and looked thoughtful for a

moment. Then his eyes lit up. "Well he's not going to get away with it. I'm

going to find the rat and bet the shit out of him. He'll be more oogedy

than his demons when I'm through."

Doyle turned towards the door bottle in hand. Cordelia jumped up and

grabbed his arm.

"Now Doyle you don't want to do this." She dug her feet into the carpet

but still Doyle plowed forward.

"The Hell I don't." he muttered. "Princess, let go so I can go kick the

snot of Mr. High and Mighty."

"No." Cordelia looked toward Angel desperately. "Angel, don't just sit

there! Give me a hand here!"

"Why? I think it's a good idea." Angel stood up. "In fact I'm going with

him." Angel took the drink form Doyle's hand and took a drink himself. Then

he set it on the table.

"No more Doyle, or you'll be too drunk to give him his just desserts."

Angel pulled on his duster.

Doyle nodded. "Good point." He stopped and turned towards Cordy. "You

might as well let go, Princess. You can't stop us."

Cordy sighed in defeat and released Doyle's arm.

"Fine." She reached over and picked up Doyle's jacket handing it to him.

"Just remember to give him a few for me."

Doyle smiled and kissed her forehead. "Sure thing. Why don't you come

watch. Then you can do the job yourself."

The former May Queen shrugged. "Why not? Let me get my coat. But if I

ruin an outfit you two are in for it."

Then the trio set off to have a merry little chat with Joss and to show

him the error of his ways.