Title: Get Me Through December Author: Emmy Disclaimer: I do not own anyone from the Buffy-verse or the Angel-verse. They are all the property of Joss Whedon, WB Network and Mutant Enemy (Grrr- Aargh). I am merely borrowing them for some fun and/or angst and I will return them unscathed (well, no more scathed than they were before) when I am done. Suing is not the best plan of action as I am a poor student. I can give you a bag of stale Smarties, 3 cap-less pens and a half chewed pencil and that's about it. Author's Note: This would not leave me alone! I kept thinking about Doyle's impending death and thought I'd write it my way. Spoilers: Pretty much all of the Angel eps thus far. Dedication: For my friend Cheryl... ‘cause she doesn't think I suck! Get Me Through December ** By Emmy ** Prologue The patter of rain woke Cordelia on Christmas morning. She lay on her side slowly coming into consciousness, fighting it but at the same time realizing that it was inevitable. Her body felt heavy, weighed down by the burden she had been carrying the past three weeks. She had thought that her grief would lessen but she found instead that it only got worse. She seemed to miss him exponentially as the days turned to weeks. She felt the familiar prickle of tears behind her eyes and pressed them closed as she tried in vain to ward off the chill that swept through her. After a few minutes, she rose from the bed and wandered toward the bathroom, thinking that perhaps a hot shower would ease her tired body and her broken heart. *** Part 1 It had started as any other day. She was late, Angel had attempted to make coffee and Doyle was sitting in her chair with his feet up on her desk, reading the morning paper. She breezed in, dropping her bag on the chair, hanging her wet coat on the rack and moving to pour herself a cup of the sludge Angel had brewed. As she neared her desk, she cleared her throat and slapped at Doyle's booted feet. "Off," she said to him and waited as he folded his paper and lowered his feet to the floor. Getting up and moving to the side, Doyle presented Cordelia her chair with a sweeping bow and grinned at her. "Mornin' Princess. Have a nice night?" "Mm-hmm. Quiet evening. Just me and Phantom Dennis." she replied cheerfully. "Should I be jealous?", he asked, raising an eyebrow. " The ghostie isna movin' in on my girl, is he?" "When did I become your girl?" she asked haughtily. "The first time I saw ya," he replied, his eyes warm. Cordelia's cheeks flushed and her heart beat loudly in her ears. Their flirting had risen to new heights after the whole magical sensitivity thing. Kate had put them on the spot with her remarks and they were both much more conscious of what was said between them now. Until that day, Cordelia had been trying very hard not to notice how handsome Doyle was, or how sweet, or even how warm his accent made his voice sound when he spoke to her... "Where's Angel?" Cordelia asked, attempting to clear her mind. "Don' know. The phone rang an' he disappeared half an hour ago." "Client?" "Could be. I'll go have a look see." Cordelia nodded absently, turning her attention to the pile of mail sitting on her desk. Reaching for the letter opener, she began to sort through the stack. "Bill, bill, bill, boring, boring, boring! Nothing interesting ever happens around here these days..." At that moment the door opened and a tall, hooded figure stepped into the room. Cordelia glanced up from her mail and seeing the man's wet jacket, she rose to help him. "Is it still raining out there? Let me give you a hand with your..." Cordelia's voice trailed off as the man turned to face her. His eyes were blazing red and he had small blue spikes all over his face and neck. They seemed to quiver as he surveyed the room. "Doyle," he barked at her. "Isn't here right now. Can I take a message for him?" she asked cautiously. The figure stared at her for a moment and Cordelia suddenly felt a searing pain behind her eyes and everything exploded into bright flashes of color. Crying out, she raised her hands to her temples, pressing on them to try and stop the sudden wave of nausea that washed through her and then a rushing noise filled her head and everything faded to black. *** Part 2 "Cordelia? Wake up, Princess," a fuzzy voice said in her ear, "C'mon sweetheart, open yer eyes." Something cold was pressed to her forehead and she reached up tentatively to see what it was. As she felt around, a sudden pain split her head and she groaned. Licking her lips, she mumbled, "Remove ax from forehead now." "Cordelia, you okay?" a new voice asked. She opened her eyes carefully, wincing as her forehead began to throb. She blinked a few times to clear her vision, and tried to focus on the two swaying bodies beside her. "Stand still," she commanded. One of the figures squatted down beside her. "What happened?" Angel asked, a frown creasing his forehead. "Angel, man. Give her a minute ta get her head straight, will ya?" Doyle demanded as he sat down on the edge of the couch. Cordelia, realizing that she was laying on said couch, tried to push herself into a sitting position. She moaned softly as a wave of dizziness swept over her. "Easy, Princess, That's quite a knock to yer head there," Doyle cautioned as he moved to help her. "I'm.... okay," she replied shakily. "Cordelia, what happened?" Angel asked her again, "How did you fall?" "I don't know," she said, "I don't remember falling. This guy came in and was looking for Doyle and then it's all really bright and then really dark." "Who was looking for Doyle, Cordelia? Did he say?" "No, but he wasn't human," she answered, nodding her head, "Definitely not." Angel and Doyle exchanged a concerned look over Cordelia's head and Doyle reached for her hand, "Cordy? What did he look like?," Doyle questioned gently, rubbing his thumb along her palm. "Tall, strange eyes, kind of spiky." "Spiky?" Doyle asked, "As in hair?" Cordelia nodded and gestured around her face, "Uh-uh, spiky as in face, blue spikes all over, red eyes," she closed her eyes and slumped back onto the couch. Doyle's eyes clouded and he glanced at Angel, nodding his head toward the corner of the room. The two men moved away from Cordelia. "You know this guy?" Angel asked. "Yup, retriever." "It wasn't a dog," Cordelia muttered from the couch. "Nope," Doyle replied, "It was my father." *** Part 3 "And so, now he wants me to come back. I've had my time in this world an' now I'm expected to go an' serve my time in his," Doyle stared down at his hands and sighed. "That was the deal he made with my mother." "Wait, wait wait," Cordelia said trying to get her throbbing head around this whole concept. "You're half demon? Of the blue spiky persuasion? How? I didn't think that could happen." "Well, Ma was pretty surprised too," Doyle retorted. "It can happen. It's just very rare," Angel said quietly. "Usually the woman doesn't survive, regardless of whether she's human or demon." "The retriever'll come back, ya know that, don't ya?" Doyle said to Angel. "He won't stop until he's got me." Angel nodded at him, "I want you to stay at Cordelia's. It may know where you live and she shouldn't be by herself for a day or two." During his confession, Cordelia had reached out and taken Doyle's hand in hers and she glanced down at it resting in her lap. She wasn't sure where it had happened, but she had fallen for this man and the thought of losing him terrified her. They had only just begun to know each other, this wasn't really happening was it? Looking up at Doyle and then Angel, she asked, "Well, what do we do know?" "Call Giles and then do some research," Angel answered grimly. *** Part 4 A few hours later, Doyle was opening the door to Cordelia's apartment for her. Putting an arm around her waist and scooping her up under her knees, Doyle carried her into the dim apartment. "Dennis, turn on the lights for me." The hall was instantly illuminated and Doyle continued on toward Cordelia's bedroom. The lights flashed on ahead of him and by the time they reached the room, Cordelia's ghostly roommate had turned down the blankets for her. "Thanks, man," Doyle acknowledged. He placed Cordelia gently on the bed, careful not to wake her just yet. Doyle reached down and removed Cordelia's shoes, tucking her feet under the blanket, and then pulling it up close to her chin. He smoothed her hair back and eyed her forehead with a worried frown. The bump on her head was turning a nasty shade of purple but she had fought her discomfort all afternoon to help them research. Angel had finally told them to go home and rest after speaking to Giles. There was nothing else to be done until Giles had consulted his own, much more extensive library. Doyle returned to the living room and called Angel to let him know that they had made it home without incident. "I need a drink," he muttered to himself as he headed into the kitchen. Finding nothing but a can of Diet Pepsi, Doyle wandered back to Cordelia's bedroom and settled into a chair to watch her sleep. Sitting there staring at the woman he had come to love, Doyle cursed his heritage for the first time in his life. Why did it have to rear its spiky head right now? He knew it was coming, always had but he had thought to outrun it. Doyle dropped his head into his hand and closed his eyes. He was suddenly so tired of his life. Hearing Cordelia shift in the bed, Doyle's head snapped up and he crossed the room to check on her. "Cordelia?" he asked softly, in case she wasn't quite awake, "Princess wake up for a minute." "No." "C'mon Cordy, tell me what day it is," he prodded gently. "I don' want ya damaged permanently." "It's time-for-you-to-go day," she growled at him. Doyle laughed and touched her cheek, "Sounds like your fine ta me." "What time is it?" "About 6:30, why?" "It's so dark that's all," she said, yawning. "It's been rainin' all day." Cordelia sat up in her bed slowly, wincing as her headache worsened. Lifting her hand to her forehead, she gingerly pressed around the lump. "That must be pretty," she said acidly. Doyle only smiled at her. "So, your my nurse tonight, huh?" Cordelia asked. "Yup, boss' orders, I'm afraid." "What's for dinner then?" Cordelia asked and then giggled at his horrified look. "Dinner?" *** Part 5 "I'm not sure what hurts more... my stomach or my head," Cordelia moaned as she pushed the tray away from her. Being a rather poor cook, Doyle had ordered pasta for them from an Italian place he frequented and the two had enjoyed it as they watched television in Cordelia's living room. "Didn' I tell ya Princess! Best angel hair and alfredo in LA," Doyle replied enthusiastically as he picked up their empty plates and carried them to the kitchen sink. Cordelia nodded her head and slid down a little further on the couch. She had stretched out and was busy tucking her quilt under her chin when Doyle returned to the living room. "Are ya tired Cordy?" he asked, "Maybe ya ought ta get ta bed." Cordelia shook her head, "No, I just want to sit and watch tv for a bit." Doyle shrugged his shoulders and went back to the kitchen to do the dishes. "Can't you do those later?" she called to him. "What?" Doyle yelled back. "Do them...," realizing he wasn't going to hear her over the running water, she pushed off the couch and padded over to the kitchen. "Do them later." Again Doyle shrugged and followed her back to the couch. Flopping down, he patted the cushion beside him, "C'mon Princess, set yerself down and I'll give ya a foot rub." Cordelia grinned madly at him and threw herself down, dropping her slender feet into his lap. They sat in companionable silence, watching NBC's Thursday night line-up and enjoying the silence. For once in her life Cordelia didn't feel the need to talk, to fill the quiet with inane chatter. She sat and during commercial breaks watched Doyle from under her eyelashes, averting her eyes quickly whenever he looked her way and trying to ignore the fluttering of her stomach as he ran his fingers up her insteps. She sighed in contentment and let her head fall back against the arm of the couch, , she thought to herself. Part 6 Doyle had been thinking that exact same thing. He was keenly aware of Cordelia's presence as they sat on her couch. He had been trying to catch her eye and knew that she was watching him when she thought he wasn't looking. The tension between them was palpable and yet neither of them made any move to disrupt the current situation. It was all Doyle could do not to just grab her up and plant a kiss on her lips! The time passed and before he knew it, it was after eleven and Cordelia was dozing on the end of the couch. "Let's get ya ta bed Cordy," he whispered softly as he disentangled himself from her legs and blanket. With as little movement as possible, Doyle reached down and scooped her up into his arms, smiling as she cuddled into his shoulder. He carried her to her room and tucked her up into bed. As he turned to go, Doyle heard a sleepy voice call to him, "Doyle?" "Yeah Princess, I'm here." "Where're you going to sleep?" "Uhh... couch I suppose." Cordelia sat up in her bed, shaking her head and reaching her hand out to him, "Could you stay here? With me?" "Cordy... is that a good idea? Ya aren't yerself tonight." "Please Doyle, just for awhile. You don't have to stay all night if you don't want. Just ‘til I get to sleep." He sighed and walked over to the edge of the bed sitting carefully, he gently pushed Cordelia back down and tucked the blankets around her again. He smoothed her hair away from her bruise and leaned over to gently kiss her forehead, "Cordy, ya know I'll always do whatever ya ask of me." And he slipped off his shoes and curled his body behind Cordelia's, pulling her back close to his chest and breathing deep the smell of her hair. "I love ya, Cordelia Chase." "I love you too, Doyle," she whispered back, her heart overflowing with the kindness of his words and the sudden strength of her own feelings. *** Part 7 Stepping out of the shower, Cordelia shuddered at the bitter cold of the bathroom. Quickly she wrapped her wet hair in a towel and pulled her robe on. Padding out to the living room, Cordelia walked over to the small Christmas tree in the corner. Angel had brought it by the other night, hoping to cheer her up a bit but the lone gift under it was just a reminder of all that she had lost. She walked over to the window and stared out over the street, slick with rain. Sighing deeply Cordelia wandered back to her bedroom, knowing that she had to get dressed. Angel and Kate were coming to get her, they had decided that the four of them would spend the day together as a family. That was what they had become, four solitary people who had found a common bond and cared about each other. For the first time in her life Cordelia had known what it was to have a family and now the most important person in that family was gone. Some days she was amazed she got out of bed. *** Part 8 The shrill ringing of the phone woke Cordelia the next morning. She moved to answer it but realized that she couldn't move. The blankets were tangled around her and an arm was across her waist. Cordelia lay very still for a moment, remembering the events of last evening. A small smile lighted her face as she recalled Doyle's words to her. She was a very lucky girl today. The phone continued to ring. "Doyle? Move over," she whispered to him. Jabbing an elbow into his ribs, Cordelia attempted to move the half-demon's dead weight enough for her to wriggle free. It was no use, he had her pinned and Cordelia had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't asleep anymore. "I have to get the phone Doyle. Let me up!" Doyle's response was to pull her tighter to his side and growl in her ear, "Let the machine get it." "What if it's Angel? He'll worry." "No he won't." "Yes. He will." Doyle groaned and rolled onto his back, throwing an arm over his face, "Fine, go get it." Cordelia crawled over his legs and ran to the dresser. She picked up the phone just as the machine began to kick in. It was Angel. He wanted the two of them to lay low for the day, hang around the house, not go outside just in case this thing knew where they were. Cordelia nodded her head as she listened to his voice, unwittingly curling her hair around her fingers. From the bed Doyle watched her from under his half-closed lids. She was stunning, even first thing in the morning, with no make-up on and a huge purple mark in the middle of her forehead. He smiled as she turned to face him and he saw her watching him. She smiled back, nodded her head one more time and said good-bye to Angel. Hanging up the phone, she sauntered to where Doyle lay, "So... boss says to play hooky today. What are we going to do?" With a wicked grin, Doyle grabbed her hand and pulled her down next to him, "I'm sure we can figure that out, Princess." Shrieking laughter rang through the apartment as Doyle began to kiss Cordelia's neck. *** Part 9 It had been a terribly lazy day. Doyle and Cordelia had decided to spend the entire day in bed and between reading demon books, napping and talking about everything that really mattered to them, the day had passed remarkably quickly. The rain had continued and now as darkness fell, Cordelia reached out to brush Doyle's hair away from his eyes. He was fast asleep but turned into her touch, smiling softly and mumbling in his sleep. Cordelia smiled and wondered how she had failed to notice his devotion to her. She thought that perhaps she should fear his love for her, it was so soon, they didn't know each other well enough to be saying the things that they had. On the other hand, life in Sunnydale had prepared her for strange occurrences and she also knew that if something felt this right, she should just go with it. So few times in her life had been peaceful and this was one of them. The whole Doyle's-dad-is-a-demon thing added an element of urgency to what was between them and she wondered if it was something that might tarnish once the danger had passed. , she thought, . "Doyle? Wake up," she wanted to say what was on her mind before her courage failed her. "Doyle, c'mon, this is important." "Mmm... what?" "I want you to spend Christmas with me." "What?" "Christmas. Here. With me." "Princess, surely you'll be goin' home ta Sunnydale," he answered her. "No, there's nothing there for me. My family is here now. You and Angel." "Are ya sure?" Cordelia nodded, realizing for the first time how true that was. Her father was in prison, her mother was in some sanitarium upstate and there wasn't anyone else who would welcome her back. Her eyes welled up. "Home is where you are," she said at last, one tear sliding down her cheek to her chin. Doyle pulled her into his arms and kissed her fiercely, putting every last bit of emotion he had into it. She was his now, nothing would ever come between them. *** Part 10 "Doyle! I don't think it's working!" Cordelia was yelling over the sound of the wind that was whipping her hair around her face and stirring up the piles of dirt and trash that littered the alley. "Keep chanting Cordelia." he yelled back as he and Angel worked frantically to set the stones into their proper formation. In the three weeks since the retriever had shown up, Cordelia, Angel, Doyle and Giles had researched feverishly for a way to send the demon back and seal the portal to the dimension Doyle's father ruled. There was little information about the strange dimension and they had finally decided to try a binding spell. Giles had suggested a powerful spell that could possibly seal the portal and as it was their only option, the vampire, the half-demon and the former May Queen had set about gathering the items they would need. Now they stood in a dark alley trying to keep the portal at bay, Cordelia kept yelling the words at the growing vortex in front of her but to no avail. , she thought to herself. She could feel the arms of the vortex creeping closer, like a mist, reaching out to wrap around her ankles. They were like ice cold fingers creeping up the backs of her legs, wrapping around her waist and then she felt the arms begin to pull at her. Cordelia began to struggle in their grip, twisting and turning, trying to free herself. Dropping the spell book, Cordelia began to panic, "Doyle!" she screamed. Hearing the terror in her voice, Doyle turned and cried out her name, racing forward to grab at her hand. "Angel, give me a hand here, man!" Seeing that things were about to get out of control, Angel also ran forward to pull Cordelia to safety. Doyle had thrown himself between Cordelia and the widening mouth of the vortex and was trying desperately to push her away from the arms reaching out. Angel put an arm around Cordelia's waist and began to pull her toward the stones. It was a barrier that the vortex couldn't expand past, meant to keep the dimensional portal trapped in the alley. "Doyle, I've got her! Get back behind the stones!" Angel yelled. The center of the vortex was opening behind Doyle and Angel could see shadowy figures moving to its edges. , Angel thought to himself, blind panic settling around him. Doyle was caught up in the edge of the vortex, the arms pulling him closer to it's mouth. Before long, the other retrievers would be able to reach him and they would lose him to his father's dimension. With a last yank, Angel threw Cordelia behind the stones barrier. "Stay there!" he yelled at her. He turned back to the edge of the vortex, trying to stay clear of its groping fingers, "Give me your hand!" "Where is she?" "Doyle, give me your hand!" Angel screamed again. The mouth of the vortex was dangerously close to him now, it sensed it had its prey and it was pulling back from the stones, dragging Doyle with it. "Keep her safe, Angel," Doyle called, still struggling with the icy fingers of the vortex. "I'm okay." Behind the stones, Cordelia could see that the vampire was losing the battle to save Doyle. The mouth of the vortex was getting smaller but she could see the hands of the retrievers reaching for him. Seeing that Angel was struggling, Cordelia ran to help him. "Get back!" he barked at her. Cordelia shook her head refusing to heed his words. She reached desperately for Doyle's arm, grabbing it near the elbow. He turned his head, his face growing pale at the sight of her, "Princess, get back behind the stones! Now!" Again, she shook her head and stood her ground, "God damn it Angel, pull! We're losing here!" Doyle's grip tightened on her arm and she slowly began to inch backward, tugging on Doyle's arm but for every inch she gained the vortex gained two and finally there was no more to be done. The first of the retriever's broke through the dimensional barrier and grabbed the back of Doyle's jacket, the next one through curled an arm around his waist and Cordelia felt her grasp begin to slip. "Doyle!" she screamed, her eyes flying to his face. In his eyes, she could see her own fear mirrored. There were two more retrievers on him now and Cordelia's hand now only held his wrist. Suddenly, her fingers slipped as Angel threw her back and fell on top of her. As she lay under the vampire she could hear Doyle's cry as the retrievers pulled him through the portal. ***