Confessions
                          by Calandra Ravenshadow

Disclaimer: Angel and all it's characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant
Enemy and the WB. The story is mine so ask if you'd like to use it on your
site and give me proper credit.

Doyle sat in a chair in front of Cordelia's desk. He twirled one of her
pens in his hand nervously, sighed and put it back down. He passed a hand
through his hair and stared at the newly painted wall.

"Princess… Cordelia, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for a
while now. I asked the boss to be quiet about it 'cause I couldn't stand
the idea of seeing disgust in your eyes everything you look at me… touch
me. But I can't lie, not to you anyway. No, don't interrupt, you have to
hear this story."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

140 years ago

Beverly Conohan wiped her brow and carefully adjusted the basket she held
in her arms. Her clothes were soaked and muddy, dragging down her already
heavy skirts and making the very act of walking a shore. As she took
another step, her worn shoes slipped and she stumbled in a mass of filthy
cloth and red curls.

She did her best to shield the basket with her body before she hit the
ground. She never did however; a strong hand had grasped her elbow and now
pulled her back upright.

"Are you alright miss?" She glanced up at the darkly handsome man before
her and blushed, suddenly self-conscious. Beside this man dressed like an
English noble, her poor dress seemed even more embarrassing. He didn't seem
to notice, he focused on her pale blue eyes with a frightening intensity.

"Just fine, milord. If you will forgive my clumsiness, my Pa is waiting."
She shifted her basket again and glanced down the road but he still hadn't
let go.

"This is no weather to be up and about. Come inside, I'll have a carriage
bring you home when the rain has stopped." She knew that she should thank
him and continue home but her chill, tired body overruled her senses. She
followed him into his mansion.

She walked behind him quietly as he led her through the corridors. He
finally stopped in front of a room and opened the door. He motioned for her
to enter what appeared to be a richly furnished bedroom.

"You will find clothes to change in here." He said entering the room after
her. She stopped for a moment in her admiration of the room to stare open
mouthed at the dresses he indicated.

She picked out a blue silk dress and held it at arms length. She stopped
only when she heard the door lock. She looked up at her approaching host.
"If you could leave while I changed…"

"I don't think so." He grinned as he said this. His handsome face shifted
into something more hideous… demonic. She backed into a corner and dropped
her basket; fruits and vegetables spilled on the ground to be crushed by
clawed feet. She whimpered as he held her in his arms and turned her dress
to shreds.

"Please God, protect me." But God didn't hear her prayer and no human heard
her screams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

9 months later

"Push child, harder." The petite mid-wife tried to keep the horror from her
face as the baby started to emerge. Instead she glued on a grin and focused
on the mother.

She touched a wet cloth to the struggling girl's forehead. She had been
pretty once, she could tell. But now she was bony from starvation, her eyes
were dull and her red curls hung limply from her head. Beverly had only
told her that her parents had thrown her out in disgrace but she had felt
that there was something more. Now she knew what it was.

Beverly cried out in pain and grasped the sides of the bed until her nails
bled as the child's deformed face struggled to escape its confines. The
mid-wife did her best to ease the pain but in the end all she could do was
encourage her to push.

Nearly an hour later, Beverly collapsed on the bed, completely exhausted.
The older woman took that time to examine the baby boy. He was fairly
normal except for his face, it was… Just as she had that thought, the face
shifted to that of an innocent child.

"How is my child?" Came a weak voice from the bed. Despite all, she seemed
genuinely concerned about the baby.

"He's perfect." She lied turning around to show the child, who at the
moment did look perfect, to his mother. "Do you want to hold…" She stopped
when she saw Beverly's empty eyes staring up at the ceiling. She closed
them with a sad sigh.

"May the Goddess protect you child…. And you child of the dark,… Doyle."

"I take it that since you named your dark stranger, Brigid, you intend to
keep him. The council won't approve." Came a voice from the shadows. An
athletic woman, dressed like a man and with a shaved head walked into the
light.

"Not if they don't know what he is and as your watcher I forbid you from
telling them. There is good in this child, I won't let it be lost."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

20 years later

"Doyle, we shouldn't." the girl giggled as he kissed her neck and passed a
hand through her thick, dark hair. He stopped for a moment to stare into
her deep, dark eyes.

"Brigid's studying in the library, she can't hear us, doll. Besides that
prophecy of hers doesn't seem to be in a hurry to come true. Why shouldn't
we have some fun?"

She grinned and kissed him. He closed his eyes to focus on the sweet taste
of her lips and the feel of her muscular body against his.

When they separated again, he cupped her face in his hand lovingly. "I love
you Caroline."

She smiled and for a moment he thought that he held an angel in his arms.
She leaned towards him and whispered. "I hear it's dangerous to love a
Slayer."

This won her one of his charming grins, his piercing blue eyes shinned with
mischief. "I'm game." When he leaned in to kiss her again, however, she was
torn from his arms.

"Brigid, Mum, I know we were supposed to be…" he stopped when he noticed
that the eyes staring back at him were not those of the matronly watcher.

He backed away from the vampiric visage just as the Slayer searched for her
stake. The monster knocked it from her hand before she could get a proper
grip.

She tried to break free but the vampire held too tightly. He grinned
maliciously at her then at Doyle. Doyle could only watch, frozen with
terror as the vampire pulled a railroad spike from his cloak and planted in
her abdomen. She gasped and her eyes went wide, waking her lover from his
spell of fear.

He charged the demon but was easily tossed aside. He hit the wall and
rolled into a crouch just in time to see the vampire's sharp teeth
penetrate his beloved's neck.

Her limp body was dropped on the ground without ceremony and her opponent
turned towards Doyle. His face turned into that of a handsome young man. "I
know, mate, it's sad, she was a pretty thing. But what can I say, I had a
sudden urge for Slayer. But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you;
you'll be desert." He grasped Doyle's shirt and held him before him. He
quickly tossed him aside again. "Bloody hell, you're not even human. I
guess I'll just have to kill you then."

He pulled the bloody railroad spike out again and started to approach. He
stopped suddenly, his human face falling again. Brigid held a cross before
him, standing between the vampire and Doyle. She didn't even look at her
foster son or her Slayer's body.

"Doyle, run, now." He paused only for a moment before taking off at a full
run. In the distance he could still hear her chanting followed by snapping
bones. Then nothing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm not perfect you see, that's why I was cursed with these visions, but
for a long time I thought that I would never be able to care for someone
again… until I met you." Doyle glanced up at the desk and sighed. "I guess
that's what I wanted to say."

He turned his head when the door to the office opened. Cordelia walked over
to her desk as she sorted through the mail. "Were you talking to yourself?"

"Me? No, of course not. I was reading." He explained picking up a random
book from her desk.

"Well, can you read more quietly now that I'm here? I have work to do."

"Sure, no problem." He glanced at his hands then stood up. Before leaving
the office, he glanced at her again. He sighed, maybe next time.

FIN