Title: Christmas Chaos
by Megg
 
Disclaimer: I only own the kids. And it is so NOT my fault that they named the 
Wiccan chick Tara. I so used that first ...
Distribution: Um, okay. The first little holiday fic is at 
http://members.dencity.com/Megg/aperfectholiday.html ... it's Thanksgiving happy 
fic!
Notes: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, and various other nondenominational 
holidays! Or something like that. Couples: B/A, C/D, X/A, G/J, W/O
"We wiiiiish you a merry Chriiiiistmas, we wish you a merrrrrry
Christmaaaaas, we
wiiissssshhhhh-"

"Kelley! Shut up!" Christopher demanded.

"Why should I?" Kelley asked defensively.

"For one thing, we're Jewish!"

"Nah-uh. Daddy's Christian. Or he was!"

"But we celebrate *Hannukah*, which is over."

Kelley frowned. "Well, I know it's over, but that's why we should sing
for Daddy. Daddy!
Daaaaddy!"

"Mom! Make Kelley shut up!" Quinn begged, coming into the family room.
"Tell her we
don't celebrate Christmas!"

Willow quickly descended the steps, kissing each child on the forehead.
"Morning. Did
you sleep well?"

"I was fine until Kelley woke me up!" Quinn whined.

"Stop your complaining," Willow scolded him. She looked at Kelley. "And
Kelley, why
don't you tone it down until your father at least wakes up."

"Well I was going to wake him up." Kelley jutted out her lower lip.

Willow laughed. "I think you were going to succeed, too, but I wouldn't
reccomend it. Do
you have all your presents for the cousins, Sweetie?"

Kelley nodded vigerously. "I made an ABC book for Daniel, cause soon
he'll be able to
read."

"Really," Willow said, amused. "I'm glad. Now, since everyone else will
be busy this
morning with Christmas-y celebrations, I promised we'd bring fruit
salad."

"We don't have any cans," Christopher cut in.

"We're making our OWN."

"Hey, Mommy?" Kelley asked. "Is Aunt Buffy pregnant?"

Willow frowned. "I don't think so ... why?"

"Because I called her up one night and she got mad. She said she was
*very* busy with
Uncle Angel and she kept breathing funny and could I please call back
later?"

Willow's mouth dropped open. "A-And you think she was ... getting
pregnant?"

Kelley's mouth dropped open. "No! Mommy!" Kelley shook her head. "It's
just that Aunt
Anya was really mean like that when she was in the hospital with Daniel,
and even when
she wasn't, so I was just thinking-"

"Uh, Honey, let's go make salad. And from now on, don't call Aunt Buffy
at night."
Willow shook her head, her cheeks still tinted pink, avoiding the annoyed
look she was
getting from her son.

"Why not?" Kelley asked.

"Because she's a nymphomaniac," Christopher muttered.

Willow shot her soon a look. "Don't ever say that again," she snapped.

"What's a nymphomaniac?"

"A ... uh ... um, a very nice person."

"Oh! I have to tell Aunt Buffy and Aunt Anya and Uncle Xander and Daddy
and-"

"No!" Willow cried. "Y-You can't."

"Why not?" Kelley frowned.

"Uh ... it's in Swahili. They won't understand and they'll think it's an
insult."

"But-"

"No buts. Come on."

*****

"Mommy ... time t'get up!" Tara squealed, rushing into her parents
bedroom.

"Tara ... go back to sleep ... it's too early."

"It's at nine-zero-two! Time t'get up!"

"Nine-zero ... oh, nine-oh-two? That's too early. Go back to bed."

Tara disregarded her mother's comment, climbing up onto the bed and
jumping up and
down. "But now I'm *four*!"

"So?"

"So you should get up for my birthday."

"Your birthday was three days ago," Cordelia informed her daughter. "And
you got
presents."

"But for a bweeated ... berlated ... belarked ... uhh ..."

"Belated?" Cordelia suggested.

"Yeah! For *belated*."

Cordelia sighed. "All right, Tara, Miss Four-Year-Old. Let's get your
daddy up and go
downstairs and ... where is he? Doyle ..."

"Downstairs!" Doyle called back.

Cordelia sighed. "Earlybirds, the both of you."

"Is that bad?" Tara took her mother's hand and nearly pulled her down the
stairs.

"I suppose not." Cordelia sighed.

"Of course not," Doyle cut in, wrapping an arm around Cordelia and
twirling her around
while Tara laughed gleefully.

"Hot chocolate?" Doyle offered mugs of hot chocolate to both Tara and
Cordelia, both of
whom accepted with a smile.

"Daddy? Is it present time? I made you a T-shirt!" Tara ran to grab a
halfway wrapped
package from under the tree. "It says 'World's Best Daddy', an' on the
back it says 'I
Love Ireland'. I wrote it allll by myself!"

Doyle smiled and took the present from his child.

*****

"Wow, thanks, Mom!" Lucia said, looking to her mother.

"You're welcome." Buffy smiled from her place on the couch in Angel's
arms.

"They smell nice," Casey said with a smile, holding up a basket of black
and red candles.

"They better! I had to go all the way to Los Angeles for those. Cinnamon
and ...
something."

Casey looked for a label, didn't find one, and shrugged. "So we're going
to Grandma's
later, right? And Aunt Willow and everyone will be there?" she asked
anxiously.

Buffy smiled and nodded. "Yes. Everyone will be there. Even Christopher."

Casey blushed, but shook her head. "I don't care if Chris is there or
not."

Buffy gave her a knowing look. "Okay, Casey. Why don't you go get ready
now?"

"I'm *not* wearing another flowery dress. Not even for Aunt Anya."

"Wear something decent, at least," Buffy instructed.

Casey shrugged. "Fine. I guess."

"You could wear the pants that match your hair!" Lucia suggested.

"You bought red pants?" Buffy asked.

"I've had them since before I dyed my hair red."

"Your hair is a different color every holiday, Casey." Buffy sighed and
shook her head.
"I'm trying to be supportive. Really, I am trying. Just go get ready."

"*I'm* going to wear my pretty blue dress," Lucia announced.

Buffy smiled and nodded, curling closer to Angel. "That's a good idea.,
Luci-a. Lucia."

Lucia nodded and scurried up the stairs after her sister.

Once they were gone, Buffy turned to give Angel a lingering kiss. "Merry
Christmas."

"Merry Christmas," he responded, grinning.

"Maybe we can stay here for Christmas," she paused to kiss him, "And the
kids can go to
Mom's," she kissed him again, "And we can just have our own Christmas
celebration.
What do you say?" She gave him a pleading smile, fiddling with the
buttons on his shit.
"Please?"

"Sounds like a great idea," Angel responeded, and Buffy grinned. "But I
think everyone
would wonder and Xander would probably come and get us and drag us to
your mother's
..."

Buffys sighed in defeat. "You're probably right. Damn it."

"There's always later," Angel reminded her. "Aren't the kids going to
Willow's tonight?"

Buffy's smile widened again. "That's right ..."

*****

"Waaaah!"

"Shhh, shhh," Anya whispered to the baby in her arms. "It's Christmas.
Stop crying."

"He's four months old, Anya, I don't think he understands."

Anya shot him a look. "He has to learn sometime!"

"But I doubt this will be the time. Do you have the diaper bag and the
presents?"

"Do I *look* like I do?"

"Uh, no. I'll get them."

Anya nodded, rocking Daniel in her arms. "We're going to see Grandma!"
She turned to
call to Xander, "Hey, Xander, how come we don't ever go see anyone else's
parents?"

"Because everyone else's family is dysfunctional!" Xander called back.

Anya frowned, then nodded. "Oh. Yeah."

Xander finally found the bag of presents and help it up triumphantly.
"Ready to go?"

"Uh ..." Anya made her way over to the mirror. "Yeah. Yeah, all ready to
go!"

Xander opened the door and made a face. "It's raining."

"What?"

"Rain. It's pouring."

Anya growled. "It's Christmas! It can not be pouring!"

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart, but it can and is."

Anya stamped her foot. "Not. Fair!"

Xander winced. "Come on. We're going to be late."

"I don't want to go out in the rain."

"Close your eyes, grab an umbrella. Either way, we're going. Clear?"

"Clear," Anya agreed, sighing in defeat.

Xander grinned. "Good. Now out the door."

*****

"Good Lord, Joyce, what are you doing?" Giles frowned, watching her
attempt to string a
set of lights around the window. "Isn't it a little ... late to be doing
that? After all, it is
already Christmas."

Joyce turned to frown at him. "It is not and I'm hanging up lights!"

"The children ... er ... the adult children and their children ... er ...
the *family* will be over
soon and the dinner is not ready."

"Cook it yourself," Joyce suggested. "I put lasagna in the oven. There's
nothing for me to
*do* with it, anyway. It'll be done when it's done, and until then I have
pretzels and
Ho-Ho's."

"Xander?" Giles asked.

"Xander," Joyce confirmed. "Now, help me string these up."

*****

"Mommy, there's no other cars here. We beat them all and Grandma isn't
even *our*
Grandma!"

Willow smiled at her daughter. "Probably because they're still opening
Christmas
presents."

"Shouldn't we get presents on Christmas *and* Hanukah?"

"I don't think so," Oz said. "You get presents for eight days, remember.
They only get it
for one."

"Oh ... yeah ... but ..."

"Go ring the doorbell," Willow suggested, trying to balance bread and the
baby while Oz
held the presents.

Kelley ran over to the door and leaned onto the doorbell, sending a long,
shrill sound
through the house.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Joyce chirped from inside, pulling open the
door and running a
hand over her light hair. "Willow! It's so good to see you." She hugged
Willow. "And
Oz!"

"What about us?" Kelley demanded.

Joyce knelt down to hug her 'grandchildren' as Giles came into the room.

"Grandpa!" Kelley yelled, leaping into his arms. "Lucia and Casey aren't
here yet? I have a
*big* secret to tell Lucia! And," she added in a stage whisper, "I think
Chris and Casey
should hook up for Christmas."

"Shut up," Christopher demanded.

"You don't have to be mean!" Kelley said, running into the kitchen.
"Oooh, cookies! Can
I have one, Grandma?"

"Be my guest." Joyce smiled.

"I brought you a present," Quinn said shyly, presenting Joyce with a
lumpy package. He
kissed her on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, Grandma."

At that moment, the doorbell rang and the oven buzzed.

"Rupert, will you get the door?" Joyce asked, setting the present on the
table and hurrying
into the kitchen.

Giles opened the door to find Casey and Lucia, both wearing winter
jackets. 

"It's c-c-cold," Lucia shivered. "I'm c-c-cold."

"Well come into the house, then!" Giles smiled at his
almost-granddaughter.

Joyce set the lasagna on the table and held out her hand. "Coats?"

Everyone took off their coats and handed them to Joyce. She frowned.
"Casey, where in
the world are your parents?"

Lucia cut in to answer. "Right there ..." she pointed out the window.

Everyone turned to look out the window, only to see Buffy and Angel
standing close
together on the proch, their mouths melded together.

"Oh." Joyce nodded quickly, then hurried off to hang up the coats,
muttering something
about, "Acts like a teenager," to herself as she went.

"Hey ... look what we dragged in!" 

Kelley and Lucia both whirled around. "Uncle Xander!"

Xander put the car seat holding Daniel on the floor and scooped up Lucia
and Kelley as
they came flying at him, twirling them around in the air before setting
them down.

"Mommy!" Lucia suddenly cried. "You came in!"

Buffy smiled, her arms around Angel. "Xander made us come in."

"I didn't want you two to pass out from lack of oxygen." Xander shrugged
innocently as
Anya picked up Daniel, rocking him back and forth. 

"Cordelia and Doyle aren't here yet?" Buffy surveyed the room, finding
Gregory crawling
across the floor, Quinn playing on the computer, Kelley trying to drag
Lucia out of the
room, and Casey and Christopher sitting together on the couch, she noted.

"No, they're running late, I guess. And they're closer than us," Willow
shrugged.

"Hey ... what are you two whispering about?" Xander asked Kelley and
Lucia.

Kelley giggled. "It's a secret!" She grabbed Lucia's hand, dragging her
into another room.

"What's the secret?" Lucia asked when they were out of earshot of
everyone else.

"A secret word. I'm not supposed to tell, 'cause it's in Swahili, and
some people thing it's
bad if they don't understand, but I'm going to tell you what it means, so
you won't think
it's bad and mean, okay?"

"Okay!" Lucia agreed.

"Ever heard of a nymphomaniac? It means a really nice person," Kelley
said
matter-of-factly.

"Who told you that?" Lucia asked.

"Christopher said it and Mommy explained the meaning. Chris must *really*
think Aunt
Buffy is cool 'cause he was saying good things about her. In Swahili!"

"Ohhh really?" Lucia grinned. "I didn't know your mom spoke Swahili!"

"Me neither!" Kelley shrugged. "I guess so. But don't tell anyone, okay?
It's supposed to
be a secret."

"But can't we say it to grown-ups? 'Cause they'll know it's good."

Kelley frowned. "I guess so, but Mommy said not to. Maybe we can tell
them before they
leave or something, but not yet. That way I sort-of kept my promise!"

Lucia nodded, giggling. "Okay."

"Girls? What are you chortling about?" Willow called. "It's dinner time!
Aunt Cordelia
and Uncle Doyle and Tara are here!"

Lucia and Kelley hurried down the stairs. "What does 'chortling' mean?"
Lucia asked.

"Giggling. What was that all about."

"Nymphomaniacs," Lucia supplied.

"Lucia!" Buffy snapped, surprised. "Where did you learn that word?!"

"I ... um ... I ..."

"Casey! Your hair! It's red!" Cordelia suddenly cried.

Casey stopped her conversation with Christopher to reach up and touch her
"blazing
cherry" hair, which she had reluctantly let her mother curl and style on
top of her head.
"Yeah ... I guess it is ..."

Cordelia shrugged. "Oh, well, I think I like it better than the black ...
and you aren't
wearing black for the second holiday in a row!"

"Sure I am," Casey protested. "My tank top is black."

"Yeah, but it's under a red shirt so you just look ..."

"Normal?" Casey suggested.

"No, that sounds mean ... different," Cordelia suggested.

Casey shook her head, smiled, and stood up to hug Cordelia. "Merry
Christmas."

"Merry Christmas. Are we ready to eat? I'm starved, and Tara talked my
ear off the whole
car ride."

"Sorry, Mommy," Tara said.

"No, it's a good thing," Doyle protested, and Cordelia nodded.

"Dinner!" Joyce called, and everyone hurried to the table.

"What about presents?" Tara asked.

"Tara," Cordelia scolded.

"Afterwards," Joyce promised, serving slices of lasagna.

"So," Buffy said when everyone had been served their meal, "What is
everyone's favorite
part of the holiday season? *Besides* the presents."

"No school!" Quinn piped up.

"It's my birthday," Tara murmured.

"We get to spend time with our family ... and friends ...and significant
others ... and Mom,
stop giving me that look, I meant about *you* ..."

"Do you have something you want to share?" Buffy looked from Casey to
Christopher,
who were playing footsie on the table, and grinned.

Casey immediately pulled her legs under her, fixing her eyes on her food.
"No, nothing,
why would you say that?"

"No reason ... but that was a good reason you had for the holidays,"
Buffy said. "Lucia?
What about you?"

"I'm thankful for ... um ..." Lucia trailed off, looking at Kelley.

"Luci?" Buffy picked up her wine glass and took a sip.

"Lucia," Lucia corrected. "I'm glad that ... um ... we have a big family
of nymphomanaics
a-"

Buffy choked on her wine. "EXCUSE ME?!" she sputtered.

"Kelley!" Willow hissed, although she was glaring at Christopher.

"It's Chris's fault! He's the one that said that Aunt Buffy --"

"She thinks it means 'nice person' in Swahili," Willow supplied,
embarassed.

"Why would she think that?" Buffy frowned and rubbed her throat. "Ouch.
Wine went
down the wrong thing ..."

"I told her --"

"That Mom what? What did you tell her?" Casey demanded of Christopher,
glaring at him.

"I ... uh ... I ..."

"He said Aunt Buffy was a nymphomaniac ... I guess he thinks you're
*really* nice to
speak in a whole nother language about you!"

"Why would you do that?!" Casey demanded. "You damn --"

"Kelley called her up and she got mad because she was trying to have
sex!" Christopher
said defensively.

Buffy groaned. "Oh gosh ... Kel ..."

Kelley's eyes widened. "REALLY?"

"N-" Buffy began, but Quinn cut her off.

"Of course, that's what grown-ups *do* at night because they want to make
us sick."

"Quinn," Willow snapped.

"What? That's how babies are made!"

"Really? See, Mommy, I was right!" Kelley said.

"Right about what?" Casey asked, alternating between glaring at
Christopher and glaring
at her mother.

"I said she was pregnant cause she was being mean like Aunt Anya when
Aunt Anya was
pregnant and --"

"I was not!" Anya cut in. She turned to look at Xander, but he had gotten
up to get the
now-crying baby. "Xander! Was I mean?"

"Yeah ... no! No, Honey, of course not, you were perfect."

"See?" Anya said triumphantly.

"So I get a little sister?" Lucia asked. "Cool!"

"No!" Buffy cried.

"A brother?" Lucia sighed. "Okay."

"No! I'm not pregnant, okay?" Buffy growled.

"Shhhh," Angel soothed her, kissing her hair. "She's just curious."

"Yeah, well --"

"SILENCE!" Giles yelled.

The room immediately grew quiet, everyone looking at Giles.

"It's Christmas and here we are giving everyone headaches because there
was a slight
misunderstanding of a word."

"Lot more than that," Casey muttered.

"Dinner is getting cold," Giles continued as though he had not heard,
"And I would like to
distribute the expensive presents I paid for."

"Oooh!" Tara squealed. "Yay!"

*****

"Is that is?" Kelley asked.

Willow yawned. "That's all, Kel, and it's about time to go. I'm beat."

Oz nodded in agreement, wrapping an arm around his wife.

"Tara, ready to go?" Cordelia asked, slipping into the jacket Doyle held
out for her and
then kissing him gently.

"Ready!" Tara agreed, grabbing a plastic bag with presents in it.

"Race you to the car," Kelley told Lucia, and they both took off running
for Willow and
Oz's van.

Oz picked up the remainder of the bags belonging to their family and
kissed Joyce on the
cheek. "Thanks," he said, before ushering Quinn out the door.

"I'll see you guys in a week!" Xander called. "New Years!"

"Out, out, out," Anya demanded good-naturedly, grabbing the handle to
Daniel's car seat,
and following her husband out the door.

"Ready to go, Sweetheart?" Angel whispered to Buffy, pulling her closer
to him.

She nodded, looking up at him with shining eyes. "Merry Christmas," she
whispered back,
leaning up to kiss him. 

"You two have a good night," Willow ordered with a smile, picking up
Gregory, who was
crawling across the floor in his pajama's.

"Do you have everyone?" Buffy asked, her fingers laced through Angel's.

"Just have to get Chris and ..." Willow trailed off, smiling broadly,
when she saw
Christopher and Casey. They were both asleep on the couch, and Casey had
curled up
against Christopher in her sleep.

Buffy grinned. "That's a Kodak moment."

"I'm a Kodak person," Joyce supplied, snapping a picture. 

"That'll either be blackmail or a keepsake," Buffy said as she and Angel
moved to leave.

They looked at each other, then said in unison, "Blackmail."