Title: Be Still My Heart
Author: Becky Sonnenfeld
Email: doyleworshipper@yahoo.com
Part Six

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Doyle and Cordy walked out into the dead of night, neither of them saying a 
word. Cars sped by, radios on full blast, drowning out nature. A group of people 
made it past them, giggling with a happiness that was almost unknown to L.A. 
Cordy shrugged, as if to say 'what's the big deal?', and continued walking. She 
still remembered, faint as a time as it was, when she used to be the center of 
attention. How guys used to flock to her every need and desire. How even Harmony 
had still considered her an equal back then. But thanks to her parents, she was 
now struggling to maintain the life of a starving actress. Well, okay. Maybe 
Angel had kinda helped her out here and there. But her status had since 
decreased to a vast nothingness. 

Doyle offered her a smile, realizing Cordelia was deep in thought. But no matter 
what her mood, she never ceased to impress him. She'd been real brave to follow 
them today. Searching for a monster of whom they had absolutely nothing to go 
on. And she'd taken the pain to her arm pretty well too. But Wesley, on the 
other hand.... He really hated that guy immensely. "Cordy?" 

"What?" she turned to him then, snapping out of her worrysome conglomeration. 
"How are you?" 

"I've been better," she told him. "But...I feel okay now, u know?" 

"That's what you said back at the office." 

"Well. Maybe that's still the way I feel." 

He laughed. "Okay." 

"Doyle!" 

"What?!" 

"Try to understand me here, alright?" 

"I am, Princess. I just...think you're a tad confusing is all." 

"Oh really?" 

"Yeah." 

"Mmmhmm." 

"Well, what's that supposed to mean?" 

"You're still half demon," she argued. 

"What's that have to do with anything?" 

"You want to talk confusing-" 

"I was born that way," he objected. "You weren't born a snob though, yeah?" 

"Excuse me. But I think I've excelled beyond snob now. To something a lot nicer, 
in fact. I mean, why else would I be working here?" 

"Because the clients pay well?" he suggested. 

"Doyle." 

"That's all you ever talk about. Like savin' their lives doesn't even matter 
anymore." 

"I never said that. I just...I need to make a living somehow, you know?" 

"You probably don't know it, but you're better off then a lotta people. The 
homeless can't exactly say the same, Cordy." 

Her expression fell at his comment. She avoided his gaze, and appeared to stare 
off into space. "Yeah," she agreed. "But even the homeless probably have someone 
who actually cares about them." 

He grabbed a hold of her shoulders then, so fast that it startled her a bit. 

"You think I don't care?" he asked her softly. 

"I just...sometimes I wish I were back in Sunnydale, you know?" 

"Why? Because of Buffy? She couldn't have made how you were go away, Cordy. And 
it's not your fault." 

"Easy for you to say." 

"How do you think I'm dealing? I've never even met my dad," he told her sadly. 

"He's always kinda remained the shadow in my life, whereas my mum was always 
there for me, taking care of me and all that. And maybe I should rejoice in that 
fact. But nothing compares to havin' both your parents there for you, even if 
they did make your life less fun. Because I'm sure they still love you very 
much. They just can't find the right words to tell ya." 

"Do you have time for coffee now?" 

He smiled. "Wonderin' when you'd bring that up again." 

She finally returned the gesture. "It's late....really late...like, next day 
late. But....I guess I could really use someone to talk to. And...you can't 
exactly share everything with a vampire. Even if he does have a soul." 

"True. Although, I'm sure Angel has enough problems of his own right now. You 
know, with Wesley and all that." 

She laughed. "Yeah. Well, he saved our lives today. Something done right. Okay. 
Maybe the first thing he's done right...but done...." 

***** 

Meanwhile, back at the office, Angel has since given up any hope of anything. 
Whatever demon it was that had attacked them earlier, was completely vacant in 
every book he owned. Literally. But the thought of shape-shifting had not 
entered his mind until now either. What if in fact it was able to acquire 
characteristics from various demons out there, thereby making it unidentifiable? 
It was a possibility, as farfetched as it sounded. Which obviously meant more 
information-okay, a lot more-had yet to be uncovered. And Angel was clearly 
exhausted at the moment. Maybe he would pay Giles a phone call. If this was 
anything to worry about, they'd need all the help they could get. 

"Have you located anything?" a British accent asked him, as Wesley emerged from 
his room of study. 

"Not a thing." 

"I was thinking...." Wesley started, eager to get something across. "Maybe this 
particular demon...is able to make itself invisible to every book known to man. 
I mean, it would appear logical-" 

"I was opting for shape-shifting," Angel interrupted. 

"Ahhh.... Yes. Hadn't thought of that. But....how? Is that even-" 

"It's very real," the good vampire cleared up for him. "Always has been. 
Well....except in Dracula's case...anyway. We obviously don't turn ourselves 
into bats, and just fly away. I just don't know if we successfully killed that 
thing or not." 

"But you dumped the body. The head was detached. There was no indication of any 
struggle, let alone a shape-shift." 

"Listen. All I know, is that we obviously haven't even considered the 
possibility of regeneration." 

"There's no way," Wesley protested. 

"Maybe we're just not looking hard enough." 

"Looking for what?" 

"A clue....maybe. I don't know. Doyle couldn't even describe it in his vision." 

"Doyle," Wesley threw out, not even paying much attention. 

"What about him?" Angel asked, wondering if the former watcher was onto 
something. 

"I...I...what?" Wesley returned, a bit confused. 

"You said Doyle. Care to elaborate?" 

"Does Cordelia like him?" 

The question caused Angel to sigh. He rolled his eyes out of pure annoyance, and 
shrugged. "I don't know, Wesley. Is this really-" 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I guess....I guess having Doyle here....I'm not fond of 
it. It was just the three of us before. And if I recall, we were doing just 
fine." 

"But long before you arrived, Doyle was here. And while he's not much for the 
demon scene, he's willing to aid us in destroying evil. That's not a bad thing, 
Wesley." 

"Yes, but how well-" 

"Look. Just drop it, okay? We've got work to do. I'm going to phone Giles in 
Sunnydale-" 

"Oh. Please. Allow me to do that," Wesley interrupted, eager to share a few 
words with his old acquaintance. "We have a great deal to talk about, I'm sure. 
Really." 

"Alright. If you want to. By all means. Explain to him our situation, and 
remember to bring up the shape-shifting aspect." He paused a moment. "Oh, and 
Wesley?" 

"Yes?" 

"Don't make a day job out of it, alright?" 

"Funny, Angel." 

"Yeah. Well. Times like these certainly call for some laughter, you know? We 
have to make our way somehow." 

"Do...do you want Buffy in on it too?" 

Angel suddenly lost his train of thought for a short time then. Everything 
seemed to go blank. His eyes somewhat clouded, and he turned away. His jaw set 
in a tight line, he shook his head. "Um...n...no. She shouldn't get involved. I 
don't want to put her in danger." 

"She's not going to like the fact that you're keeping-" 

"Just do it, Wesley." 

"Alright, alright." 

***** 

At the nearby coffee shop, Cordy and Doyle had opted for a table by the window. 
Cordy had ordered a cappuchino, and Doyle, just a simple cup of coffee. The 
place was nearly empty. All but a few people still occupied it, looking 
extremely worn out and tired. 

"How do you think Angel is doing with that demon?" 

Doyle stared out the window, frowning. "He'll find somethin'." 

"You think so? Because that was so horrible. Ick!" She shivered then, recalling 
the events a few hours earlier. 

"We'll get through it though. We always do." 

"Yeah, and if it's really big, you're still coming out alive," she advised. 

"Even if I have to put my life at stake in the process." 

He turned to look at her, a smile plaguing his forlorn expression. "You'd....you 
do that for me?" He was clearly shocked. 

"Doyle, I was just saying that if you ever-" 

He laughed. "I got it, yeah? But I mean....you and bravery, Cordy? Does such a 
thing even exist? Not to be-" 

"What, now you're doubting my monster skills too?" 

"No!" 

"Then what?" 

"I guess...I guess I'd never thought you'd say that. I mean, to me...of all 
people." 

"Look. You do your best, I'll do mine. But Mr. Broodsome had better get some 
info, and fast. Just think. There could be more of those things elsewhere that 
we have yet to fight." 

"Right. Note to self. Place a handy axe in each of our apartments," the Irish 
half demon stated jokingly. "I'll get right on it, Angel." 

She laughed. " I don't know about you, but I'm having fun. Aren't you having 
fun?" 

Doyle nodded, but tried hard to be modest about it. "Sure, Princess." 

"Okay. What's wrong?" 

"Nothin'," he protested. 

"No. C'mon. Is something bothering you? 'Cuz....you can talk to me about it. I 
mean, you listened to just about my entire life story earlier. I owe you one, 
Doyle." She paused a moment. "Doyle?" 

"I guess...I guess I'm just not used to this." 

She frowned. "Yeah. Well. Given my previous attitude toward you, I completely 
understand that." 

"Yeah?" 

"Mmmhmm. And you know, about before....and everything. As hard as it is for me 
to admit this....I'm really really sorry, Doyle. I mean, I know that's what you 
probably expected to hear, wasn't it? No different from any other apology on the 
planet. But....but I really mean it. And if you can find it in yourself to 
forgive me.... I just...I'm really really sorry." 

"I know," he said softly, offering her a friendly gaze. He smiled and took a 
single sip out of his coffee mug. "And this other thing, right? Angel'll find 
some way to stop it. He always comes through in the end." 

"Yeah," Cordelia mumbled, then offered him a glance. "He'd better."