Title: Much Ado About Nothing
Author: Calandra Ravenshadow
Disclaimer: the characters do not belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon,
Mutant Enemy and the WB. I'll be sure to wash them before I return them.
*g* Also, I am not responsable for Shakespeare rolling in his grave...
wait, I am.
Rating: G... I think
Feedback: Yes, please!
Distribution: Ask first, I'll probably say yes.
Notes: This is suposed to be odd, ok? *g* It's my attempt to rewrite Much
Ado About Nothing 'Angel' style. For those who have read the play, Cordelia
is Beatrice, Doyle is Benedick, Angel is Claudio, Buffy is Hero and Xander
and Willow are whoever I need. Enjoy. *g*

                                   

Angel climbed out of the elevator and headed straight for the coffee maker.
He didn't even notice Cordelia's presence until he had winced at the taste.
For the briefest instant he wondered why he did this to himself every
morning.

The young woman grinned at him from where she sat at her desk. She extended
a hand to examine her perfect, pastel blue nails and searched through the
mess of papers beside her with the other. She triumphantly rose a scrap of
paper above the pile. "I have a message for you, sleeping beauty."

"One of Doyle's visions?"

"A phone call," she held the paper with the tip of her fingers as if she
didn't dare touch it. "Willow says: 'We're coming, big evil, we'll explain
when we get there.'… God, could she be more phone illiterate? What kind of
message is that?"

"Willow doesn't exaggerate about this sort of thing, if she thinks it's
necessary for her to come here we should prepare for the worst." As he said
this, he settled in the chair in front of her and started to adjust the
straps that held a stake to each forearm.

"And where's our great hero? Sleeping off a wild night with his one true
friend?" She made a drinking motion with her hand.

"You shouldn't be so hard on him Cordelia, he goes through a lot."

"Yeah, but personally I'm more impressed by a guy who can stop drinking
than one who can go through a lot of drinks."

"That's not what I meant…" he passed a hand through his hair. "Cordelia, a
battle of wits is all well and good but he's not even here to defend
himself."

"Please, for us to have a battle of wits, he'd actually have to have some
wits." She said, carefully filing her nails.

She looked up when the door to the office cracked open. Doyle peeked inside
and grinned at the sight of Angel's exasperated expression. "Am I
interrupting something?"

"Only good fashion sense." Cordy quipped in without looking up.

"Why is it, princess, that ever since you first laid eyes on me you've been
wanting to get me outta these clothes?" he answered, his smile growing and
his eyes shinning.

"As if, I would…." She was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing
their throat. She glanced up at Xander, Willow and Buffy who were standing
in the entrance. Xander held his hand in front of his mouth and cough
again.

The trio didn't move forward and Angel made no move to invite them in; he
was fixated on the pretty blond Slayer. Cordelia rolled her eyes. "You men
don't have a chivalrous bone in your bodies, do you? I mean, I know they're
losers but…"

"Cordy, we can hear you." Xander informed her. She gave him a confused look
and just shrugged.

"Whatever. Do you guys have a place to stay? Because my apartment is to die
for and I can take a couple of you in. Xander will have to stay with Doyle
though; Denis doesn't like strange men staying in the apartment and you two
are, well… so are you coming?" She had left the office before they even had
a chance to absorb what she had said.

Willow offered the men a timid smile that seemed to say she doesn't mean
it, really, and left the room with Buffy in tow; the later only glanced
back once to meet Angel's eyes.

The vampire stood and started to pace. He picked up a book and paged
through it until he reached the bookmarked page at which point he slammed
it shut . He finally sat down again.

Doyle, who had been watching quietly with Xander, grinned and slapped him
on the shoulder. "Angel, man, if I didn't know any better I'd say you
fancied that girl. Whatever happened to saving damsels in distress is your
job but you don't want to get attached?"

"She's hardly a damsel in distress." Angel said quietly, still watching the
door.

"evidently, she's got you wiped man. You'll never see me swooning like that
over Cordelia, you've gotta show some dignity."

"Who said anything about C…" Angel interrupted Xander's question as he
started to pace again.

"I love her Doyle."

"She's a looked, no doubt about it but love? I'll wear a dress before I get
myself in that mess again."

"Is anyone else hungry?" The two demons stared at Xander who glanced from
one to the other. "What?"

                                   Part 2

"This is great!" Cordelia exclaimed taping her foot to the loud music.
"Your demon really has good taste."

"Yeah, it's a brain eating demon who has terrorised mankind for over 5000
years but at least it comes to the cool parties."

"Exactly!" the actress said with a brilliant smile, missing Willow's
sarcasm entirely.

The two other young women looked at each other and lowered masks over their
faces to hide their smiles. They glanced out at the club's growing costume
party; the music started to pound in their blood.

"Maybe we should mingle," Buffy called above the din. "The guys and a
hungry demon are somewhere in there and we need to unmask them. If you need
help just y… turn off the music."

Cordy lowered her elaborate feather mask then she and Willow melded into
the crowd. Buffy felt a tap on her shoulder and spun around. She stood in a
battle stance until she recognised Xander in a groucho nose and glasses
holding his hands above his head.

"Don't stake the messenger!" he exclaimed only getting a raised eye brow
from Buffy, a motion that was totally lost on him. "I know of a dark,
brooding vampire who wants to talk to you. He said to meet him at the bar
in an hour."

She glanced at her watch and nodded but Xander had already vanished into
the crowd.

*************************************************************

Cordelia danced casually through the crowd, not really settling with any
one person. She didn't know how she was supposed to find a demon in here
but at the very least she would enjoy herself.

She spotted Doyle's unmistakable form by the bar and smiled to herself. He
held a half empty glass of whiskey to his lips as he scanned the crowd. Big
surprise there.

She subtly danced in his direction and when she was sure that he could see
her, removed her mask to adjust her hair. As she replaced it, she saw him
approach out of the corner of her eye.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked softly and she almost laughed out loud at
his attempt to hide his Irish accent. But she nodded and took his offered
hand.

"Do I know you?" She asked, her dark eyes shinning with humour.

"I doubt it, I would have remembered someone so beautiful." He answered,
grinning from ear to ear. Classic pick up line was all she could think.

"Well, maybe you've seen a friend of mine around, Doyle?" he shook his
head. "Really? He's hard to miss; a short guy, dressed like a pimp… only
less classy."

She felt him straighten his shoulders to make himself taller. He cleared
his throat. "Do you talk about all your friends like that, precious?"

"He's not a friend really, more of a business associate. Not that he works
much; I think our boss just keeps him around because he's kind of
pathetic." She smiled as he coughed uncomfortably and excused himself at
the end of the song.

*************************************************************

"Pathetic…" Doyle paced back and forth in the lobby in front of Willow and
Xander. The two leaned on a couch and watched his movements. "How could she
say that? I knew she was a force of nature that one but to talk about me
behind my back… Whatever happened to Human decency?"

"Well, technically she wasn't talking about you behind your back; it was
more like behind your front." Xander offered and received an elbow in the
side for his efforts.

"You shouldn't let her get to you; Cordy can be very defensive." Willow
said softly, hoping to soothe him

"Sounded mighty offensive to me," he put his mask back on his face. "Now,
I'm going to catch a demon."

The two best friends sat together on the couch in silence. After a moment
Xander glanced at Willow.

"They're crazy about each other, aren't they?"

"Like monkeys in heat."

"And it would be wrong for us to interfere."

"Unforgivable."

"So, when do we start?"

"No time like the present." ."

*************************************************************

Cordelia's words still ran through Doyle's mind as he roamed the club. All
the while he muttered silently to himself. "I can't believe that there are
actually men into the trap of love. What's the point? You'll never find the
right woman. Some are smart, some are beautiful and others have a good
heart but you'll never find one who's all those things. Love… ha!"

He stopped his ranting long enough to notice Xander and Angel talking by
the bar. He started to greet them but interrupted himself when he heard
Angel say his name. He slinked closer and sat at a nearby table, a plant
separating him from the two other men.

"Are you sure she loves him?" Angel asked, frowning softly. "All she ever
does is insult him."

"I know my Cordy; she's too proud to let anyone see how she feels but I can
tell that she's mad about Doyle." Xander answered confidently, nearly
causing Doyle to fall off his chair. "I wouldn't have said anything if it
was just that but Willow told me that she sat up all night in her
night-gown writing love poems."

Angel nodded gravely and Doyle moved closer to the bush not caring that the
leaves rustled slightly. "I was afraid of this, Cordelia is such a sweet
girl, with such a big heart. She'd be destroyed if someone broke it."

"She's being destroyed already, after she finished the poems she tore them
up and cried for an hour. She called his name the whole time. Maybe we
should tell him; I don't think she'll say anything on her own and I hate to
see her like this."

"We can't, Doyle's a good guy but we have to face the fact that he doesn't
know how to treat a woman like her. He already has one failed marriage and
he's always lying to her. The fact is that Doyle is not man enough for the
likes of Cordelia Chase." Angel answered quietly, it seemed to hurt him to
say it. Doyle stifled a protest but it was too much of an effort so he
sneaked away as quietly as he could.

Angel followed his movements with his eyes before turning his attention
back to Xander. "Do you think he bought it?"

"Are you kidding? No man alive can resist the thought of the great Cordelia
Chase crying over him… heck, not even a dead one could."

*************************************************************

Doyle sat at the bar, his mask by his side and his mind reeling. He glanced
at his untouched scotch and thought he saw Cordelia's reflection in it. He
sighed.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" He glanced up when he
heard someone clear their throat and looked up into Cordy's eyes.

"If you're done serenading your drink big, dark and broody wanted me to
tell you that he wants to talk. As if he's too good to come himself."

"He's just doing me a favour, 'Delia." He said, smiling at her. She just
made a face, trying to figure out what had gotten into him.

"Me too, do you think that I really want to look for a demon. But I'll see
you when you're sober."

He watched he leave with a dreamy smile. "He's doing you a favor, is he
love? They were right, poor thin is in love. But don't worry princess, the
only thing that I'm drunk with is you." With that he pushed aside the
scotch and headed for Angel's table.

                                   Part 3

"An architect, really? So what do you do in your free time? Tennis?
Reading? Become a demon?" The man who Cordelia had been talking to rolled
his eyes and turned away from her. "Why do they always do that? It's a
simple question."

She saw Xander approach and grabbed his shoulders so that he was staring
right at her. "Are you a demon?"

"Um… no."

"Thank you." She released him and left him rubbing his upper arms. He
didn't leave immediately as he usually would have however.

"Cordy, I thought it was only fair that you should know that Buffy and
Willow are well, kinda…" he glanced at her strong eyes and finished
quickly. "Talkingaboutyouinthelobbybye." He quickly vanished. Cordy, for
her part, stamped her foot and headed for the lobby.

She caught a glance of the two best-friends and retreated behind a potted
plant.

"Are you sure that Doyle loves her?"

"That's what Angel says and he knows him as well as anyone." Buffy answered
nodding at a wide eyed Willow.

"Are you going to tell her?"

"Angel wanted to tell her but I told them not to." She sat down next to
Will on a couch and shook her head. "I think it's better if Cordelia never
finds out."

"You don't think he's good enough for her."

"God no, have you seen the man? He deserves everything a woman can offer
and then some. But Cordelia… she can't do anything but tease and insult.
I'm starting to wonder whether she can love anyone other than herself."

Willow looked down at her fingers and rubbed at some imaginary spot. After
a moment she sighed. "You know that I don't like to speak against Cordy
after… but you're right, she'll probably just make fun of him and he'll be
crushed."

"Exactly, I mean if it weren't for Angel… But Cordy never sees anyone's
qualities. If we told her that he's brave, she'd say he's just stupid; if
we said that he's a gentleman, she'd say that he's just horny; if we said
that he's friendly, she'd call it an excuse to drink and if we said his
eyes and accent are to die for, she'd say that a girl fried could give her
as much. She's been so spoiled all her life that she thinks no one is good
enough for her."

"But do you really think we should talk about this behind her back… I mean,
it's sort of… sneaky."

"Do you honestly think she'd listen to us if we'd tell her?" Buffy shook
her head. "I think it's best if we just tell Doyle to forget about her, to
settle with a nice girl… maybe that Kate that Angel is always talking
about… you know, when he's talking." Cordelia couldn't help but hiccup in
shock, eliciting a hidden smile from Willow.

Biting her lip to keep from laughing, Willow tugged at the Slayer's arm.
"Come on, let's go find him."

Once they had turned the corner, Cordelia dropped herself on the couch. She
leaned her chin on the palm of her hands and sighed. She closed her eyes
and let her dark hair cascade over her face. For the first time in months,
she let some doubt creep into her mind. Maybe all this loneliness was her
own fault, maybe she really did push people away.

She didn't notice Buffy and Willow peaking from the entrance to the bar
with small smiles on their lips.

                                   Part 4

Angel spotted Buffy sitting by the bar and dropped his search for the demon
for a second to approach her. A group of laughing women, reminiscent of the
cordettes, flowed past him, blocking his view.

He froze after they moved on; Buffy was no longer alone. A man several
years older that the Slayer placed two drinks in front of them. As he sat
beside her he said something that, from her pearls of laughter, seemed
incredibly funny.

She kissed him sweetly on the lips before hooking her arm in his own and
leaving the room.

He turned away, clenching his fists. Because of this he didn't see the
couple cross a masked blond who, on seeing Buffy, stopped and glanced over
her shoulder to get a second look. But the Slayer had vanished. She
shrugged and removed her mask, revealing Buffy's face.

She checked her watch and settled at the bar, searching the crowd for a
familiar face.

Cordelia and Doyle waved at her simultaneously and, upon seeing each other,
dropped their hands and sat at either side of her. They leaned against the
bar, watching each other out of the corner of their eyes and glancing at
their feet whenever their gazes met.

"So, 'Delia," Doyle told the floor. "I like your shoes." She nodded, her
hair bobbing from side to side.

"Yeah, thanks. Yours are… well, Hey, look! It's Angel!"

The vampire was indeed approaching them, his head lowered pensively. His
hands were stuffed in his pockets and he didn't meet any of their eyes.
Xander tagged along behind them looking equally troubled.

Buffy smiled and jumped into his arms wrapping her limbs around him; he
made no movement to hold her there. With a slight frown she let herself
fall back down to the ground. "What's wrong?"

"I saw you," he whispered harshly. She took a step back as if he'd hit her.
"I saw you with him."

"What?" her eyes moved from Angel to Xander who were both watching her
accusingly. She reached towards Angel pleadingly but he pulled away.

"I was willing to give this another chance… It was always hard between us
but I loved you."

"Loved?" She asked, her voice little more than a squeak and her large hazel
eyes filling with tears. "Why past tense? What did I do?"

"Come on Buff, I saw you too." Xander shook his head sadly. "I saw you
kissing that guy."

She collapsed on the bar stool, staring ahead and shaking her head. Tears
now flowed freely down her cheeks. Doyle placed an arm around her shoulder
and tried to calm her down but she didn't react. He glanced helplessly at
Cordy. The later glared at the two men, her hands on her hips.

"Xander Harris, I can't believe you of all people are accusing Buffy of
cheating! Besides the fact that she's way too obsessed with this
non-relationship to even look at another guy." She huffed before taking
Buffy's hand and pulling her away from the men.

"'Delia's right. You too need to cool down and think before you go accusing
a lady." Doyle added before following the women.

*************************************************************

Doyle caught up with Cordelia in the lobby. She was pacing angrily in front
of the couch where Buffy was sitting motionlessly. He glanced at the Slayer
sadly before turning back to his princess.

He blinked when he saw her. "'Delia… are you crying?"

She wiped her tears away angrily but her eyes were still red and her hand
moved unconsciously to her abdomen. "What if I am?"

"Oh, princess, please don't. I can't bear to see you upset." He said
reaching for her, his voice was husky with emotion emphasising his accent.

"Don't you think I have every right to be upset?"

"Of course you do Cordelia, no gentleman could do that to Buffy but…" he
gazed at her, his blue eyes full of worry. "Isn't there anything I could do
to help?"

She turned away. "It would take more of a man than you to do it. I know how
much you love Angel."

"Screw him, it's you I love."

She blinked and glanced at him over her shoulder. "Don't say things that
you don't mean."

"I've never meant anything more," he kneeled at her feet, his captivating
eyes capturing hers. "I'll swear by whatever you like. Gods, Cordy, how can
I prove that I love you?"

She lowered her eyelashes, hiding her eyes in their shadows. "I believe you
because I feel…" She shook her head, her fingers brushing against her
abdomen again. "I promised myself that I would never fall in love again.
How do I know I can trust you?"

"Just tell me what you want me to do, I'll do it."

She turned around fully now, gazed into his mesmerising eyes and clasped
his hands in her own. "Fight Angel."

"What?"

"He calls himself all soul having! Angelus I could understand, he was evil
but what's his excuse? He's lonely and broody? Please, it's his own fault.
I swear, if I were a bit stronger I'd…"

"But Cord…"

"And the nerve of Xander! He of all people has no right to accuse anyone! I
can't believe those, those… men!"

"Corde…"

"Poor Buffy, as if she isn't messed up enough as is. What does it take to
make people understand? Since I can't beat some sense into him, maybe
throwing myself off a building would get him out of his little
self-centered world."

"Don't even think that princess, I don't know what I'd do without you." He
said, taking her hand.

She pulled away. "Words are cheap."

"How's this? I'll find Angel and me and my fist here will give him a piece
of my mind." He rose her hand to his lips tenderly and left the lobby.

*************************************************************

Willow kneeled on the filthy bathroom floor to pick up her dropped
lipstick. She was about to start again when she heard another voice in the
formerly empty room.

"It worked just as you planned master. The Slayer has been rendered
completely harmless."

At the mention of Buffy's name. She glanced around the corner. She saw a
scabby demon talking into a mirror at what looked like a larger version of
itself. Her eyes went wide with recognition. She held her breath, waiting
for it to leave.

"Give me a bit more time," it continued. "And I will destroy her." As it
said this, it's face morphed into a perfect likeness of Buffy.

"Bastard." Willow clamped her hands over her mouth as soon as the word
slipped out. But it was too late, Buffy's eyes focused on her and all she
could do was bolt for the door.

                                   Part 5

Angel sat at the bar, starring at a drink. He watched the liquid swirl and
observed his complete lack of a reflection. Out of the corner of his eye,
he saw Doyle approach. He stood slowly.

"Look, Doyle, I want to apologise. I know what I saw but I never meant for
you to…" he fell back a step when Doyle's fist connected firmly with her
face.

He shook off his vampire face before anyone could see it and glanced up at
his friend. "What was the for?"

Doyle opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted when Willow came to a
screeching halt beside him. She grasped his shoulder to catch her breath
before she managed to get out a single word: "Demon"

Their fight forgotten, the two men spun around. They found themselves
staring at Willow's face. The other Willow came to a stop beside them and,
panting, pointed at her counterpart. "It's the demon."

Doyle glanced from one to the other and furrowed his brow. "I don't know
about you, but I'm stumped. Let's start from the beginning… who's the
demon?"

Each Willow pointed at the other. "She is."

"Willow," Angel started carefully, trying to watch both at once. "How are
your fish?"

The Willow grasping Doyle's jacket let out a high pitched whine. Without
wasting a second, Angel knocked the other Willow off her feet. When she hit
the floor, she morphed back into a hideous lizard demon.

The music suddenly stopped and the dancers backed against the wall, gasping
in unison. Angel grabbed its head and smashed it against the floor. Green
blood oozed out of its mouth.

Angel looked up then at the hundred plus people staring at him. His eyes
moved from side to side, trying to figure out what to do.

Suddenly, the demon rose again. He was about to hit it again when he heard
Willow's strained voice behind him. "Just play along."

"A hand for our mid-party entertainment." Doyle improvised, beginning to
clap as Willow levitated the demon out of the room. After a moment the
crowd joined in.

They were still clapping when the trio retreated to the lobby. Willow
sighed and let the demon corpse collapse on the ground. "I don't ever want
to do that again."

Doyle nodded in agreement and turned towards Angel. "Fish?"

The vampire lowered his eyes sheepishly. "When I was evil, I killed her
fish." He pushed the corpse with his toe. "Well, at least we found the
demon before it could eat any brains."

"But we didn't, it got yours." Angel glared at Willow causing the young
witch to squirm uncomfortably; Doyle just tried to hide a grin. "I mean,
well, no literally eat your brain but it tricked you, it made you accuse
Buffy and make her all upset and, and…"

"You mean Buffy didn't…"

She shook her head.

*************************************************************

Angel and Doyle carefully approached Buffy and Cordelia; the later glared
at them, arms crossed over her chest. "What do YOU want?"

"I just want to talk to Buffy."

"Haven't you made her feel bad enough?"

He looked past Cordy at Buffy who sat on the couch hugging her legs close
to her chest. She didn't meet his eyes. "Buffy, I'm sorry, I was wrong."

She glanced up briefly then lowered her eyes again. "It's just… sometimes I
don't know why you would want to stay with me. You're so kind, beautiful,
strong and smart, what do I have to offer you?"

She stood up slowly and approached him. He watched her without moving until
she pressed her lips against his. The pair walked away, talking quietly.

Cordelia shook her head. "Have you ever seen anything that sickening? I
hope I never fall in love."

"I thought you said you loved me." Doyle said with a sly grin, taking a
careful step closer to her.

"I was upset and… and, you said it first. So… are you in love with me?"

"No more than you are." She lowered her eyes briefly at that.

Well, good because I promised myself that I would never date another lo…"

He placed a finger and whispered close to her ear. "'Delia, shut up and
kiss me."

She smiled and accepted his tender lips against her own.

FIN

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